GOODBYE!: blogspit

(warning for mentions of depression and anxiety)

Hi, anyone who's reading this right now!

So, just flat-out, I'm writing this post to officially end this blogging thing. I haven't been blogging for very long, and when I did it wasn't very frequently, but during that time, I've had a lot of good experiences and definitely a lot of personal growth just over time but also as a result of interacting with a community of people and making connections I never would have thought I could make without the platforms I use for style blogging.

If you follow me on any of my social networks for style blogging stuff, you might or might not know I haven't been active in months on any of them — maybe was trying to just leave and retire the 'Saila Ren' persona thing gradually and quietly... It's funny because for some reason, I keep ending up going by different names in different internet communities, thinking, "Oh, I'll just be going by this other name", but it always ends up becoming an entire persona, like some concentrated part of me that's also part something else. But, all these personas are a part of my universe, and I've just felt like I want to let Saila go. I'm basically (sort of) ending this connection with (part of) myself. It's not me, it's me.

Anyway, for the past several whatever number of months, I knew I hadn't been enjoying blogging or the community much anymore because my interests just strayed and I've been focusing on some other ones, so I've been more or less keeping pretty mum on my style-blogger-related social networks (and the blog itself). And, anyway, change is great! I do realize, though, that there might be some things I miss about blogging — the biggest definitely being how interesting and nice it was to be able to make connections with people in pockets of the huge, huge community.

There's a lot of people that might tell me I can still blog and pursue other things too, but I'm just not enjoying it anymore, honestly. If there's any important things I've learned recently, it's that I'm not infinite, I'm not always in control, and that it's okay to rest (like, actually rest). I've talked about depressive and anxiety disorders on this blog before, and both are exhausting just by definition. Having had them for so long, there are definitely some long-term and possibly permanent effects on brain functions and all. For me specifically, I guess I realized that I have very little energy, and that that energy needs to be budgeted and spent well.

But, anyway, no need to keep this going on and on! Life continues, the world revolves, and I'm really just making the unofficial thing an official thing (which is maybe over-arrogant of me to think anyone was actually hanging onto life for another post on ageofgarb dot blogspot dot com).

I had a lot of exciting and amazing experiences because of people I've met in this community, and there wouldn't be any way I would know what I do now and be who I am now without this entire thing and you entire thing of people. I learned a lot from this experience (kind of unavoidable after a couple years of doing it and investing so much of myself into it). I know 'goodbye'-ing on the internet might be impossible but I'm the kind of person who will constantly have anxious thoughts about something if I don't get closure. No need to close off bitterly though! I wish anyone who is reading this the best, and take care.


P.S. I will still be updating my etsy because I'm trying to downsize, so if you're thinking, "Hey, there's a thing on this blog I liked and would like to own maybe, and what if the thing is on etsy?" — well, it could definitely be (and if it's not, it will probably be sometime in the next month).



b&w sweatshirt - c/o front row shop // grid print top (no longer available) - c/o choies
pants (actually folded overalls) - h&m // black mesh boots - eBay

Still into monochrome looks... Almost ashamed of it.

Also, the last five photos in this set are mostly unedited, and the violet-/grey-/taupe-looking overlay-looking thing is just from my room... Cool room hues.



THOUGHTS: blogspit

Hello all! Happy 2014!

I was just scrolling through my blog and twitter and wanted to acknowledge some bullshit. So, I've developed a lot in the past few months, just like any type of growth in a period of time. My opinions have changed on many things, I've read more, hopefully I've become less of a shitty person. However, because of lacking postings and the focus of this blog on 'fashion', 'Saila Ren' has not developed. Kinda forgot about 'persona upkeep'... *coughs*

There's just a few things I'd like to clear up here. I do not stand by opinions that I said basically over two months ago — I do not support them, but I do want to be held accountable for things I haven't shown growth (at least on this blog) from. Developing is important but it's not shit if you don't show it, so this post is dedicated to that. I'm just going back in my twitter and on my blog — if there's any other shit I've said, please feel free to bring it up.

tw: transphobia, cissexism
cw: racism, ableism, slurs

First off, these tweets — transphobic, cissexist, cisnormative. I do believe emotions are and should be intertwined with politics but this mentality is horrible in infinite ways. An attack directed toward cis men that used genital normativity isn't effective nor is it anything but an erasure of the complexity of gender and the identities of many trans and non-binary peoples and it completely ignores in the most insensitive and alarmingly casual way the dysphoria many trans peoples face. I apologize for this tweet, and for any other tweets I don't have listed up there ^^^^. I'm reading and learning more on gender, which is a responsibility cis people have in Western society (speaking on the constructs of Western gender, therefore, yeah). If you're looking to read more on that, I follow a lot of people's blogs that identify as trans and nonbinary and genderfluid and many other gender identities, and there's a lot of information out there especially in a really broad and vast place like tumblr where (even though theory is so distorted on tumblr in.. a lot. of ways) gender expression and exploration is usually really encouraged. I'm reading more on this and learning, so if you have any articles that you'd like to share please send them my way!

Second, this post. So interesting that it's been almost two years already... Anyway, the post is trash. All of it. Use it as an example of really unfortunate misunderstandings of feminism, the glorification of white liberal feminism, and internalized racism. And just the terms and concepts of sex pozzies and slut-shaming and ~Intersectionality. I'm rolling my eyes. Throw it away. Shame me for it. Also #3 on this list discusses intersectionality in a way I thought was really interesting when I first read it.

And, there has been a lot of casual use of the terms "insane" and "crazy" on here which is ableist but I'm really not even gonna get into that because even though I'm not able-minded I still don't know much about it and I don't want to be conflated with people on tumblr who seem to think ableism is just a list of ~banned terms.

Also, I'm not sure about referring to the use of terms or actions as racist or ableist or sexist (which this term is particularly interesting because so much of the discourse about sexism assumes cisgenderism, which I was discussing with my friend a couple weeks ago), not because those institutions don't exist as collectives which they very much do and are real and useful and necessary tools of critical assessment of society, but because calling a person racist or ableist or sexist or another term that refers to a power structure reinforces the idea that they are individual mindsets like in neoliberal ideologies rather than cultural attitudes. I don't think it's helpful to refer to people as those adjectives because it first doesn't allow for a reassessment of society at large and second isn't nearly harsh enough and the person isn't held nearly as accountable to their mindsets and actions as they should be and also it doesn't hold others accountable, which we all are in some way complicit or explicit with the oppression of someone and some people(s). But anyway, I'd like more opinions on this! But I probably shouldn't post this on a style blog lol.

Anyway I think those are the most prominent pieces of pure bullshit Saila Ren (not speaking in third person btw.. ~internet personas) and more importantly *I* have spouted off on this space of internet and at one point held (speaking to other infectious and gross ideologies I held as well), but I'm sure I've been more shitty than that on here, and I'm sorry for all of that above. But going back and pinpointing every reflection of a disgusting ideology wouldn't be productive in terms of like being a not-shitty person, especially going back as far as I did for that "*blurb about feminism*" post, and especially if I just vehemently don't hold those mindsets anymore. But I felt like this was necessary because I've said some BS on here that I haven't addressed and that desperately needed to be.

Hope you're all having a great day and a great 2014!



ETSY: network update

all images link to corresponding listings
list (by order, left to right): technicolor floral top
tan faux leather shorts
vintage light blue high waisted levis
pleated oxblood houndstooth dress
vintage dark green wool pendleton blazer
teal velvet chunky heeled oxfords

Hey guys! I'm now on winter break and will be having more time to do... more things, I guess. One of things I did was list some more cool etsy shit, so go check it out if the above things look appealing to you!

Thanks :-)



UPDATE: blogspit

Wow! 2013 is almost over and Google Friend Connect is still somehow alive, which is weird, because wasn't it supposed to die? Or did it die? I don't know. Anyway, total fun news. In between deleting social networking profiles *cough* and studying for finals, I've managed to get a foot in some door or threshold of some like room, or location — or, like, basically I've just gone from there to somewhere which is now here, and moving is cool because that's how you get places. Well, what I'm talking about is my etsy page/shop! So far, there's three listings on there, which will grow soon.

So those are the only listings I have on there right now but, like I said, shit will be put up on there in some amount of time. And then I'll be from somewhere which is here to somethere and that's moving in a direction, which is okay, because you can keep moving in so many different directions from there to here and here to there and location is such an interesting thing because you're never actually in the same place because the Earth is spinning around the sun, and the orbit changes every second, and the sun is in the galaxy which is, like, flying across the universe or something, so you're never really in the same place.

So from this post, you've gotten (1) an advertisement and (2) Astronomical Physics 101. More like Astronomical Physics 1. I don't even know what to blog about anymore really, I'm just regurgitating pointless shit from videos I watched on YouTube at two AM two weeks ago because who even is reading this??? (If I were you, I would mostly consider the advertisement and just ignore everything else, you know? Look at all the clothes and shit.)




longline coat - c/o choies // top - miracle eye
paneled leggings - american apparel // boots - secondhand

Hi! Hope you've all been doing good. :-)

I didn't edit these photos all in the same file, so there's different coloring which bothers me but I've already spent at least 5 hours editing so I'm about done. A good tip is to take photos in natural light. Do not fuck with bullshit indoor lighting after dark on Halloween.




faux leather jacket - ??? // tank - h&m (years ago) // backpack - eBay
shorts - i wear sin // sunglasses - 80s purple // shoes - wholesale-dress.net (studs diy)

I don't even really know where to start with this. I haven't been writing much lately and definitely haven't updated my blog lately, so this is... interesting. Also, these pictures were taken so long ago my bangs were still short and my eyebrows were still round. Both, no longer. Things change!

Trends also change. You might be thinking, "Wow, um, studs are really 2011." Yeah, they're really 2011.

Also, I'll be posting shit on my etsy soon so if there's some stuff you've seen on this blog and you're like, "I kinda wanna have that," maybe continue considering wanting to have that while I get all the listings set up and then maybe you can see the listings and be like, "Oh, I definitely wanna have that" or "No, don't really wanna have that." Either way, the etsy thing is happening which is exciting for me! Some things that will be on sale are the blazer featured in this 70s-inspired look, faux suede shorts in this holiday look, and the houndstooth dress in this look (among many other things that haven't been seen on this blog). Exciting stuff!

Hope you all have had a good past few months, and best wishes.

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